Fear - A Gateway to Fulfillment

How to conquer your deepest fears

“Fear is one of the greatest problems in life. A mind that is caught in fear lives in confusion, in conflict, and therefore must be violent, distorted, and aggressive. It dare not move away from its own patterns of thinking, and this breeds hypocrisy. Until we are free from fear, we may climb the highest mountain, invent every kind of God, but we will remain in darkness.”

― J. Krishnamurti

Each of us has experienced getting caught up in the web of Fear at some point.

More often than not, we may be giving into irrational mental fears, a result of our survival instinct going into overdrive. Flinching at the mere sign of the slightest discomfort. Triggered by uneasy sensations that leave us stuck in patterns of aversion toward a situation. Consequently, we are led to impulsive unwarranted reactions or incompetent decisions taken under panic.

These types of groundless fears hold us back from seizing growth opportunities or taking risks that can shape our future. They can even prevent us from engaging in routine activities like driving, swimming, etc.

In this article, we delve into the meaning of Fear, and how facing our fears can be a stepping stone to a well of unimaginable inner strength, opening the path to a happier, more fulfilling life.

Understanding the Essence of Fear

If we held a mirror to every fearful thought we had, what would we see?

We are all familiar with the sensations of Fear. The next time you have worrisome thoughts or a dreadful feeling, confront the fear by paying slightly more attention to it.

Looking at it deeply, you will find that in reality, Fear is this unconscious thought, a subtle idea that we are somehow incomplete, lacking in some or the other form - whether it refers to a situation we may be faced with or an identity we assume we have.

Every feeling that is not serving you right now could be based on some kind of fear. 

Fear of losing,

Fear of judgment,

Fear of missing out,

Fear of discomfort,

Fear of the unknown,

Fear of being left behind, etc.

For example, imagine feeling jealous when a colleague receives a promotion. If we look deeper, we might find the fear of inadequacy, not being valued, or the fear of failure.

We normally think of fear as a single emotion. But on closer look, we realize that it is, in fact, the primary root cause of most negative thoughts and shadow emotions.

Whether it’s the feeling of disappointment, rising anger, or brewing anxiety, all of it boils down to fear. These emotions result from an underlying source of fear which may or may not be apparent until we spend some time reflecting on where the emotion is arising from. 

For a deeper understanding of common negative emotions and their potential underlying fears, be sure to check out this insightful chart featured in our previous article on Shadow Work.

Strategies for Living Fearlessly

“The only way to ease our fear and be truly happy is to acknowledge our fear and look deeply at its source. Instead of trying to escape from our fear, we can invite it up to our awareness and look at it clearly and deeply.”

― Thich Nhat Hanh

There are two main strategies through which we can confront fear and conquer our mental barriers -

1. Transcendence through Acceptance and Awareness

 * We'll be using this symbol to suggest areas where you can choose to pause and actively practice the following steps

• Each time we experience a dark emotion, we must first start by acknowledging it and meet it head-on to notice the fear underneath.

• Become aware of all the negative emotions within — without trying to avoid or judge them.

• Accept that you are feeling a certain way, how much ever uncomfortable a feeling it may be.

• There might be judgmental or reactionary thoughts coming up within you but stay present to it.

• Allow these feelings to surface fully.

• Observe how you can just be aware of them without giving in to them.

• Simply watch all the bodily sensations that come up along with these emotions.

• Watch them arise and fall away completely on their own without any need for your involvement.

• Throughout this process, show kindness to yourself.

• We can only dissolve an emotion by accessing a place beyond it. Acceptance opens a space within, enabling the capacity to look at any experience objectively, i.e. from a distance, in a detached manner.

• This space is always accessible as long as we engage our emotions calmly with a balanced frame of mind.

• This approach helps us remain centered without producing an external reaction impulsively.

For instance, every time you get a hateful, lack-based, envious, or distrustful thought, choose to take a pause, become aware of it, and contemplate the source of this thought.

Is it being driven by a fear of not being worthy? perhaps, of not being fulfilled? or in some cases, even a fear of disillusionment? and so on.

Once you recognize and accept that there is fear within you, you allow space for the fear and all negativity to eventually dissolve.

As we practice this, we cultivate a deep compassion for ourselves and our situation.

In doing so, we transform Fear into the higher emotional vibration of Love.

When that happens, the momentum of these emotions starts reducing for the better. The more we practice this, the more we notice the resilience within, and how unshaken we can be in the most challenging situations.

Calmness is no longer a state you access involuntarily, a consequence limited to certain experiences as it used to be previously, rather you start realizing it was already there within you, waiting for you to access its unknown depths.

2. The Art of Surrender - an Alternate Practice

Another approach to overcoming our fears is Surrender. When we recognize that we cannot control anything in our circumstances and perhaps seemingly even our reactions at times, we are invited to acknowledge that there is a greater force giving rise to our experiences. 

• When we are hard-pressed to find a solution, the best strategy is to drop all attempts to get rid of the feeling, for the moment at least.

• Instead, we can spend the next few minutes becoming aware of our frustrations, the fear or feeling of overwhelm within, and the consequent negative thoughts that seem to be arising because of it.

• As these arise, we can then surrender these sensations within us to Life itself (or whatever entity we attribute to be the source of creation - Universe, God, Absolute, Higher Self).

• Surrendering everything that comes up during this process whether they are thoughts, emotions, feelings, or even bodily impressions like a mild tightness in the gut, chest, etc. to this Higher entity.  

Like everything in nature assumes a cyclical nature, anything that arises must eventually find a resolution. That is the principle law of all phenomena. And thus, any fear that we encounter must eventually pass. finding a conclusion in its existence, transient as all other experiences in Life.

As we try out this practice, we unburden our fears and now find more mental fortitude and freshness to discover the next step to arrive at an appropriate solution for the problem at hand.

If you find any of these practices challenging to apply, remember that it is more important to initiate an attempt at practice initially than to overload oneself with excessive expectations of the outcome.

It is also critical to notice if you are feeling overwhelmed by excessive mental noise currently. In that case, you can begin by focusing on your breath - inhaling, then exhaling for a few rounds, and paying attention to how the breath feels, going in and out of the nostrils. This is a great starter for calming any intense momentum of triggering thoughts. Once you feel more relaxed, you can follow this up with either of the exercises described above.

Motivation to apply these practices

"He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life."

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

A good incentive to apply these practices if one has never tried is to become curious about the question - "what could I find behind my deepest fears?"

A philosophical answer that I can share with you is - you would find that which created fear itself, that which exists even in the face of any challenging limiting situations. Your true presence.

In this presence, you would realize freedom. You would experience adventure. You would find the seemingly lost magic in Life. You would find that which sustains Nature and the Earth. That which is capable of creating, sustaining, maintaining, destroying & resurrecting a billion worlds. That which is the very fabric of everything that exists.

I hope you discover that for yourself.

This answer is most definitely realized only experientially but a hint can be seen if we listen to the lives of the most courageous people around us and all the stalwarts from the past.

If we set aside a few moments every day, even if it's just for 2 minutes, to spend time contemplating the theme of anxiety that's been coming up for us lately, and apply either of the above two approaches, we'll find ourselves making huge strides in inner strength and in manifesting an answer for this question for ourselves.

In conclusion, understanding fear is not just a critical aspect of our emotional well-being, but also a necessary tool for managing stress, building mental resilience, and finding true success in life.