Are you living with the right beliefs?

The Art of Discernment: Finding Your Truth in a World of Opinions

Have you ever wondered if the ideas you believe are truly your own or something you adopted subconsciously without realizing?

Many of our beliefs are acquired from our environment: the place we grew up in, our families, authority figures in our lives, the peers we interact with, the society or culture we are a part of, the media, and so on. We are conditioned to accept the truths shared by the people we know or the world in general.

Our world views and perspectives are shaped by these influences.

However, we are often marketed belief systems that may not work well for our individual lives.

Marcus Aurelius, a Roman emperor and stoic philosopher, once said,

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything is a perspective, not the truth.”

Discernment is the instinct with which we recognize the beliefs that are not serving our unique life paths.

Why talk about discernment for personal growth?

1. Outdated beliefs: As we grow, we continue living by many of the narratives we formed in our childhood without questioning whether they still serve us or don't.

   
   

2. Intrusive & Irrelevant Opinions: Today, we're constantly bombarded by viewpoints from every avenue— whether it's the people in our environment, the books we read, media on our phones, TV, like Instagram, Facebook & LinkedIn, or even AI tools such as Chat GPT. Essentially all these are thought streams we are continuously being invited to accept. When we constantly consume content without awareness, it can become ingrained in our psyche, quite subtly in the background, before we even realize it.

   
   

3. Stress: Clinging to such outdated beliefs, or irrelevant viewpoints can cause suffering— inner conflict, confusion, and even disillusionment.

   
   

4. Peer Pressure & Conformity: Often, we take the path of least resistance—conforming to norms to feel accepted or successful.

   
   

   1. Take career choices, for instance: choosing a degree that feels safe or that is well-respected in society without listening to our inner voice. When we try to walk a certain road in our professional or personal lives to avoid confrontations, instead of adopting a more trailblazing path, we are bound to end up limiting ourselves.

      
      

   2. Similarly, social media creates the illusion of perfect lifestyles—endless travel, flawless creativity—that can pressure us to replicate those lives. Yet, when we experience these things, some of us may find them overrated, or realize they require more effort than anticipated, and that they do not always lead to genuine fulfillment. Overuse of social media is a big fuel for feelings of scarcity and lack within us.

      
      

5. Followership: We seek guidance by relying on teachers, subject matter experts, or research to guide us. However, many times, we make this dependence into a habit without astuteness, which impedes our growth.

   
   

How does discernment help?

Discernment is a specific stream of self-inquiry where you reflect on the truth you have gleaned from your lived experiences— what is important to you, what feels right for you, what has given you real joy, and what has not.

To discern means to understand the importance of direct experiential realization of a truth instead of blindly adopting it as a belief.

With a discerning eye, you can identify what truly resonates with you & consciously choose what you are influenced by.

You can be radically honest with yourself and stand by your truth, even in the face of myriad viewpoints, no matter how popular they seem.

With discernment, we can maintain a balanced view when considering advice from experts, advisors, or research. we recognize that even experts form conclusions based on their own experiences and that well-accepted theories or studies may have exceptions or outliers that we aren't always aware of.

When you apply discernment to inquire where your desires stem from, and deeply pay attention to how you feel engaging with the actual process or action by itself instead of the outcome you desire, you find answers to what gives you real contentment, what aligns with you as an individual as opposed to what seems to be painted as a picture out there.

And while there might be a few truths that are universal in nature, by discerning, you give yourself and the world a chance to provide you with new possibilities that others may not yet have discovered. 

Changing career paths as adults, starting our own business, investing in new relationships, parenting, or anything else that involves risky decisions, often requires us to walk the fine line between trusting our own instincts and yet remaining open to new inputs from the world around us to deftly pivot as needed.

Simple & Practical Steps to Apply in Daily Life

Here are a few steps we can take to adopt an attitude of open-minded discernment:

1. Reflection: When we set aside daily or regular reflection time every week to contemplate on specific areas where we feel stuck, or unsure, we become better at digging deeper internally and cultivate the skill of discernment.

   
   

   1. Ask Questions Regularly: Start with asking yourself, "What do I believe about this particular aspect of my life, and why? Does this belief serve me? or What has my direct experience taught me about this?" Ask yourself what rings to be true for you from within - "Is it a black and white situation or are there some gray shades here that I am unable to spot?"

   2. Listen to your feelings: Be courageous enough to step outside of groupthink and listen to your own feelings. 

   3. Trust when it feels right to pause, and take a closer look at certain aspects of your life. Tune into your intuition & trust in life when somethings feels misaligned.

   4. Question Your Beliefs: Get comfortable questioning not only societal beliefs but also your long-held personal beliefs.

   5. Question information: Develop a habit of questioning what you receive, fact-checking sources, and seeking out different perspectives

   6. Regularly question assumptions: Stereotypes, conditioned beliefs, preferences or judgments being played into

      • For instance, enforcing spiritual superstitions, assuming zodiac sign incompatibility, preferring the company of people who are similar to you vs those who are different.

   7. Complete honesty: Only when we meet ourselves truthfully within, can we meet the truth without. Ask yourself, if the reasons you believe are rooted in wisdom, self-love, and compassion toward others. Sometimes, the reasons we give ourselves can be a projection of our feelings of hurt, rigid preferences, or prejudices that don't serve our growth in the long run.

   8. Embrace Openness: Ask yourself - Is there a different view I can consider?

      
      

2. Practice Letting Go: Look at the beliefs that no longer serve you and let them go by not playing into their story each time they come up. Become aware of them and stay open to new perspectives.

   
   

3. Compassion towards oneself: Be patient with yourself, open-minded discernment is an attitude that takes time to integrate and it's okay to not have all the answers immediately.

   1. Celebrate Small Wins: when you recognize a belief that no longer serves you and make choices based on your true self, appreciate yourself as it is not easy.

Caveats: The tight rope of balancing open-mindedness with discernment

It can seem empowering to find our truths. Even so, we must be wary of the following ego traps:

• Righteousness: Rigidly clinging to our beliefs, and only our truths as the whole truth, is a recipe for poor decisions. Another trait to be cautious of— taking things personally, even when there is a possibility of wrong conclusions on our part.

  
  

• Cognitive Biases: Incorrect beliefs or biases can cloud our judgment. Few examples:

  • Confirmation bias: only focusing on information that supports our pre-existing beliefs, overlooking any pitfalls

  • Stereotyping: Playing into preconceived notions about a culture, career, gender, etc.

    • For example, assuming women are bad at driving, or older people are not tech savvy

  • Halo effect - letting a single trait dictate our entire perspective of something. For example, if a person is organized at work, assuming they are also punctual or creative.

  • Status Quo: resistance to change

  
  

• Preferences: We all have certain preferences when it comes to food, clothing, music, lifestyle, or other things. Strong preferences can hinder our ability to remain receptive to new experiences, making us subtly feel stubborn about our choices.

This is where open-minded discernment comes in. This concept can seem quite paradoxical. How can you be open to a new perspective when we just talked about owning your truths and their place in the world? 

Open-mindedness in the context of discernment refers to the ability to remain receptive to new information, ideas, and perspectives while critically evaluating them based on your actual experiences.

This dynamic allows for continuous growth while staying authentic.

Conclusion

The journey of finding your own truth is ongoing and being open, flexible, and discerning are the key to living authentically.

When we consciously strive to become open-minded yet discerning, we develop an inner stability that guides us in the most challenging situations.

We progress in our maturity because we acknowledge the diversity of everyone’s experiences and the consequent perspectives driving each one’s reality.

We can identify what's good for our growth and what is truly valuable in life in the long run.

Overall, we can live from a more authentic sense of self & expression in the world, leading to a fulfilling life, less prone to suffering.